I’m too fucking short

I recently started seeing a medical acupuncturist, whatever that is. I went because her office is across the street from where I live, and because I’m trying to be happier, but I don’t think I could have found a better person if I’d put any actual effort into this decision. Halfway through our first appointment, she was like ‘Everything that’s wrong with your body is due to the fact we live in a world where everything is made to accommodate men.’ I thought it was plain oldness coupled with my egregiously unhealthy lifestyle but it turns out the patriarchy is giving me back pain. This makes perfect sense.

I’m 5’1, and let me tell you, that’s too fucking short. It’s too short to reach the overhead bin on larger planes, too short to reach the higher handhold things on trains and buses, too short to drive most non-SUVs without sitting on a stack of pillows, too short for the top rack at the grocery store, too short to reach many of the things in my own home. Above all I’m far too short for the ergonomic nightmare that is my workspace, which is sized for men about a foot taller than me. They all are. She walked me through the numbers for rehabbing it and to give you some perspective, an IKEA children’s desk and chair at their lowest settings are still slightly taller than what I should be using. You basically cannot buy furniture in these proportions.

Anyway I’ve been aware that I’m too short for everything my entire life but I never really thought about it (a) being a misogynist conspiracy or (b) taking a physical toll. (Not much of a leap to realize there’s a psychological one.) My man-sized desk slowly turning my IT band into stone is a powerful metaphor. This trapezius is misandrist af.