This post is part of an ongoing series in heartfelt appreciation of two of comics' most unhinged deviants as they debate the morality of "whoredom." With any luck it will continue for the rest of my life.
Previously, on Whore Feud: Dave Sim's comic Cerebus may or may not have inspired Chester Brown to take his half-mullet off the market and dedicate his entire life to the most poorly articulated defense of prostitution in human history. Chet explained why "misogynists don't necessarily hate women" in "a series of faxed letters" to Dave Sim that I would "literally give my eye teeth to read." In the tragic absence of said faxes, and with the Comics Journal boys continuing to link to this argument as though it were Lincoln-Douglas level debate, it has fallen to me alone to piece together Whore Feud from the crumbs that some lunatic posts to his Dave Sim fandom blog.
Today, my sad journey continues.
CHICAGO, IL: Your girl had another late night recently. Too tired to catch up on Twin Peaks but too keyed up to go to bed, I drew a nice warm bath and settled in with real anticipation to catch up on the latest episode of the Feud. Only it turns out that I've actually missed several episodes recently, so I had to keep on catching up for several days after that. <insert montage of me reading infinite Chester Brown posts on the Dave Sim fandom blog at Five Guys...on the train to a bbq... and one night in bed before I drifted off to sleep, a smile upon my face...> Well, I'm finally caught up. This has been a very compelling season, let me tell you.
As ever, the players are walking abstinence poster Chester Brown; his glorious Himalayan cat hair weave, which he has spent the last 20 years rubbing vigorously with a balloon, for texture; Brown's opponent Dave Sim, one of the
The most exciting development in the Feud is that Chester Brown's Patreon output now includes regular "essays" in which he spends thousands of words responding to commenters on the Dave Sim fandom blog. Perfect. V good use of a Patreon. I didn't see it coming cause frankly this is next-level even for old Chet, but from my perspective it's absolutely ideal since even I will not stoop to read the comments on these posts. Apparently that's where I draw the line.
S1E3: “Dave Sim Again”
On a previous episode of the Feud, Dave Sim proved once and
for all that he’s not prejudiced towards prostitutes by sharing a fun fact from his totally
normal adolescence: that, from the age of 11, he and his old man shared issues
of Playboy magazine. The first step in a life filled with perfectly
normal attitudes towards women, I’m sure. We can only imagine Father’s pride
when Davey circulated that petition and demanded that his colleagues certify the fact that he’s 100% respectful towards women all the time. Nothing to see here, folks - just a
60-year-old man who routinely refers to sex as “fornication.” The very picture
of sexual health.
Well, for some reason, Chester Brown is skeptical. Not that
he’s saying that Dave Sim is whorephobic—obviously that’s a bridge too far. No,
Chester only wishes to argue that Sim has been affected by society’s
whorephobia as it is expressed in books, through music, and on television. “All of that
was in the back of [Sim’s] mind and influenced his perception when he looked
into the eyes of strippers and imagined that they looked dead.” No idea what he's referring to here?? Nevertheless: Powerful
words. Sex workers everywhere must thank the lord above every day for all
the brave work that Chester Brown is doing as their ally at davesimwankblog.com.
In Chester’s ongoing probe into the issue of whether or not
he and Dave Sim used to be friends, he cites page 163 of The Little Man (2nd
ed., 2006). Irrefutable, imo. Man, this storyline is gutting. Gets me every
time.
Moving on to the issue of mental health, while Chet isn’t
sure how many sex workers have “mental problems,” he “strongly suspects” that
most of them are “completely sane.” He finally closes with an unsettling
reflection on his willingness to “perform oral” and his gift with massage. Reader,
I’m shook.
S1E4: “Body Cameras and Dave Sim”
Dave Sim has recommended that “hookers” wear body cams to
settle disputes over abuse and rape, not that rape exists. Indeed, he thinks
that all fornicators should wear cams to make it easier for men to prove that
women are crazy. Seems reasonable.
Evidently this idea is so ludicrous that even Chester isn’t going to bother to argue against it, lol.
Evidently this idea is so ludicrous that even Chester isn’t going to bother to argue against it, lol.
S1E5: “Sex-Work Pride & Related Matters”
Dave Sim has been having “computer problems” and
has, for the time being, dropped out of the Feud. Meanwhile Chester can’t help but
notice that even the cretins in the Sim wank blog comments section have failed
endorsed the body cam idea. He rests his case. Anyway forget Sim; today Chester has bigger fish to fry. He has has
discovered a HYPOCRITE in the ranks of the Sim wank blog commenters.
Duplicity, thy name is Erick, and this Patreon "essay" is for you.
In all fairness to Chet, Erick the Hypocrite, who believes
that sex workers are “paid receptacles for strangers to hump on and ejaculate
over,” “satisfy themselves on,” and treat “like a pair of old shoes,” is almost
certainly a literal murderer. But I feel
like Brown pointing out that ejaculating on a prostitute costs extra, and
therefore doesn’t happen very often, was perhaps not the strongest argument
that could have been made...? For Erick’s information, Chester “wouldn’t have any
problem with a relative of [his] allowing himself-or-herself to be ejaculated
on during sexual play, whether for pay or not.” I don’t know, I think the
murderer may have actually won this round. Hard to say. That whole exchange almost made me put my computer in the freezer. Thank god I didn’t,
because the next thing I knew Chester Brown was straight-up comparing himself to
MLK:
I’m screaming. I’m dying. I’M DEAD.
In my wildest dreams
I couldn’t have come up with fan fiction this good. Holy shit.
S1E6: “I’m Not Martin Luther King, Jr!”
Chet Brown makes one little tiny modest comparison
between himself and two civil rights icons, Martin Luther King, Jr. and Harvey
Milk, and for some strange reason people found that objectionable? I can’t
imagine why. I'd like to see anyone try to argue that there's a meaningful difference between Chester Brown’s
willingness to pay your grandma extra when he ejaculates on her bosom and two heroes
who fought and fucking died for their unshakable belief in equality and human rights. *sigh* No one said this fight
would be easy, Chester. Hang in there.
Oh my god, this headline. I honestly can’t remember the last time something made me laugh this hard. Then again, by the end of the post I just sort of felt upset? (I guess it wouldn't be the Feud if it didn't leave me feeling a little upset.) I think there are two types of people in this world: those who see Chester
Brown as an advocate for sex workers, and those who suspect that his advocacy is rooted
in his desire for a world in which he can clip some coupons for the next time he wants
to have sex with a minor.
With Dave Sim still on hiatus, Brown turns his attention to a
commenter who foolishly imagined that Brown would object to the idea of a
future filled with “store-front brothels” and “lunch-time customers served in
15 minutes or less.” Brown’s like, ‘yeah, no, that’s exactly what I want,’ only he doesn’t think the McDonald’s
equivalent of a brothel would really work out, you know, for business
reasons. As a cartoonist who draws approximately one sexual comic
book every seven years, Chet knows a lot about business. “Who’s going to do the
work if it doesn’t pay well?” he asks. And that, I think, is about as close as he will ever
come to acknowledging the possibility that some folks who end up doing sex work may
not exactly be living their dreams.
Chester has a question for the commenters for next week! Bit of a cliffhanger, if you will, because I can't wait to hear what the commenters have to say about it. “I would ask the anti-prostitutionists on A-M-O-C to
explain why one particular sex-for-pay relationship is morally wrong: the one I
have with Denise,” he wrote. (NB: The "anti-prostitutionists on A-M-O-C" is how Brown refers to the Sim wank blog commenters, haha. Denise is the sex worker who Brown has been seeing for 14 years. ) As ever, the only thing that Chester Brown
craves more than the opportunity to get 20% off anal is: your approval.
“Deal with my relationship with Denise,” he demands. “What is
the morally bad thing that this beautiful, generous, thoughtful woman is doing
in having sex with me and accepting my money? … Don’t refer to the experiences
of other people—stick to my relationship with Denise.”
I mean...Jesus.
S1E7:
“Daniel Read”
Eh, boring episode. Brown persists in his analogy between
sex work stuff and people who are gay or black. It’s called logic, and who are we to
argue with it?
Chester’s real mad at a commenter called A Fake Name for
calling him scummy:
Something about all that “he or she” business
cracks me up. He’s a he, Chet. Trust me. Or is the real greatness of the graf the way he notes the timestamp on those comments like he's writing a police report? I just don't know. Anyway Brown writes that “if someone wrote
that black people are pathetic, scummy, and damaged, almost everyone would
recognize that person as a racist.” Huh, well, I reckon he might be surprised. This is comics, son. No one is racist!
(Everyone is racist.)
(Everyone is racist.)
S1E8:
“Reasons for Thinking that Sex-Work Is Wrong”
Brown gives a taxonomy of men who hire sex workers, breaking them down into four broad types. Type I is married or
taken men. Type II are guys who are in between relationships. Type III are guys
like Chet who could get free sex, but prefer to pay for it. Type IV are guys
who have tried to get free sex, but cannot. Perhaps you will not be surprised
to learn that most of Chester’s friends are IVs. Indeed he knows two IVs who were
“led on” by sex workers who “exploit the vulnerability of some clients.” Mmm. Interesting. He also writes that the desire to have a monogamous relationship is “emotionally insecure”
and comes down to “society’s immature sexual values.” He bemoans the fact that so
many sex workers must "choose to focus on their careers at the expense of their love-lives" as if this were one of those terrible articles about fraught womanhood that the Atlantic runs every 18 months.
Here’s a quote from a sex worker that Chester uses to support his claim that “sex-work
can benefit the mental health of prostitutes”:
Sex work was messy,
dirty, weird, confusing, and scary. It took me to places I wasn’t sure I wanted
to visit again. But it also scooped me out of abject poverty and enabled me to
start living life with joy.
I’m just not sure how you read that quote, as a client or
whatever, and think “this is something I feel good about participating in,” much less "here's a powerful testament to how sex work can benefit your mental health." I
guess that’s my whole problem with Chester Brown, in that I find
him to be a total nightmare creep who also happens to be comically dumb. Like...I’m
not at all convinced that assessment has anything to do with the stigma surrounding sex
work. I believe in decriminalization and I’m definitely willing to buy that some sex
workers are totally satisfied and cool with their work. But, like... the idea of
Denise, this Canadian lady who works full time and still has to have relations with Chester Brown in her
off hours to make ends meet…and him constantly trotting that out as some
unassailably beautiful and egalitarian relationship just
strikes me as a bit much. It’s a bit fucking much! In this same post he compares prostitution to scrubbing toilets. Does anything about that strike you?
Ever since his Paying for It days, Brown has conflated condemning sex workers’ choices with condemning his choices and those just aren't the same thing. I'm not here to condemn sex workers' choices for any number of good reasons that literally anyone could except Dave Sim and his cesspool of a fan site could articulate better than Chester Brown, but I feel perfectly comfortable deciding whether or not to condemn a john's choices on a case-by-case basis, thanks a lot.
Ever since his Paying for It days, Brown has conflated condemning sex workers’ choices with condemning his choices and those just aren't the same thing. I'm not here to condemn sex workers' choices for any number of good reasons that literally anyone could except Dave Sim and his cesspool of a fan site could articulate better than Chester Brown, but I feel perfectly comfortable deciding whether or not to condemn a john's choices on a case-by-case basis, thanks a lot.
Anyway, the post after that Chester says he's probably about done arguing about this for the time being. Good, I think we all could use a break. Meanwhile, Dave Sim finally got his computer up and running for one last post, and it's a doozy...
S1 Finale: "On Prostitution and Chester Brown"
I'm speechless. Where to start. Um....man. Okay, well, the word "fornication" appears in this short post ten times. Ten. Times.
Here's what we've got:
- "the only valid viewpoint on fornication is God's"
- "If you want to have a female counterpart in your life and have sex with her, and you don't want to experience severe consequences, then it has to be on what [Sim] infer[s] are God's terms"
- Sim is "intrinsically, soul-deep NOT a husband"
- which he attributes "at least partly to being the child of a child of fornication"
- [some sort of numerological consideration of his birthday, his grandparents, his fornication, and Cerebus] (???)
- Dave Sim: "I haven't fornicated since 1998"
- In May 2019 he will finally "have atoned for [his] previous 21 years of fornication and adultery"
- Dave Sim wishes "everyone, including Chester, the best of luck with their fornication rationales...on Judgment Day"
Well....these people are very sick and today I'm particularly thankful that I don't believe in god, as I would surely end up in hell for making fun of them. Thank you for joining me for another incredible recap of the Chester Brown/Dave Sim Whore Feud.
